


Ashes to Ashes

by ScarletteStar1



Category: The Handmaid's Tale (TV)
Genre: Drinking, F/F, June x Serena joy, Smoking, by the pool, god bless the child, sapphic tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-01-27 05:50:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21387139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarletteStar1/pseuds/ScarletteStar1
Summary: Only in Gilead can a baptismal commitment feel much more like a funeral. Serena Joy and June take their comforts where they may.
Relationships: June Osborne | Offred/Serena Joy Waterford
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	Ashes to Ashes

The pool gurgles as a placid child. June draws the smoke of her cigarette into her lungs, holds it for much longer than is necessary, and then exhales with a subtle cough. Serena Joy pretends not to notice.

It is their dance, over a bed of coals.

"You know," June begins, "there was a time I thought I could make you love me. Could make you see. Could bring you to some sort of bargain. Oh, Serena." Her voice trails off with plumes of smoke.

"Can't you ever shut up, June?" Serena hisses. It does not pass June's attention that she's used her real name, her name from before. Serena Joy has never quite been able to bring herself to call June anything other than Offred, so the guttural "J" and crooning "ooonnnee" of her name sweeps through the muggy air between them. 

"Actually, I've never been so quiet since. . ." she trails off. She stares at the clear, topaz water. 

"Since what?" Serena Joy asks. She sounds actually curious. 

"Since Gilead," June whispers. Serena glances over at June. 

"Hmmph," she exhales. "Me too." She reaches down next to her and procures a bottle of something amber colored and presumably alcoholic. She twists off the top and raises it to her mouth. "Oh!" she utters as she swallows and licks her lips. She extends her arm and offers the bottle to June. June raises a pale brow at Serena. "Go on. Be lavish for once." 

June accepts the cool glass neck in her fingers and examines it for a moment prior to bringing it to her mouth, wrapping her lips around it and drinking long and deep. Having become unaccustomed to spirits during her years in Gilead, she burns internally as she swallows gulp after gulp of the caustic fluid. She feels her stomach embrace it, and quickly after, her mind grows soft and fuzzy. She lowers the bottle between her skirted legs and chuckles. "Never figured you for this type, Serena," June breathes. She rests her head against the back of the chaise lounge and takes another drag on her cigarette. Exhaling, she turns her head to consider Serena who regards June with an almost bemused expression on her face. 

"You hold your alcohol well, June," Serena says, and this time it seems she says the name just to feel it slide off her lips. It's soft, almost wet. 

"I wonder," June begins, her eyes never leaving Serena's for a moment, "if we could have been drinking buddies before all of this, if we could have sipped wine and giggled at some suburban book club?"

"I doubt that very much," Serena sighs and takes the bottle to sip from it again before handing it back to June. 

"Right, of course. Stupid idea for me to have." 

"Yes. Well, no. Not exactly. It's just. . . If I'd met you before Gilead, I doubt I'd have wanted to read books with you," Serena whispers and her fingers brush against June's on the arm of her chair. 

"What would we have done?" June's stomach flips but her voice is emboldened by liquor. She drinks. She sloshes the bottle back, and pretends she does not care about the answer. 

"You know," Serena says. Her head lolls toward June and her voice is thick with drink. Serena grazes her hand down June's arm and June pretends not to notice. "Maybe we'd go someplace and take off our clothes. Maybe my breasts would touch yours. Maybe we'd be free as mythical creatures to slip into a pool together and swim off, find pleasure in warm, blue water. Maybe we'd fuck and then go out for brunch and get drunk in the middle of the day and do it all over again. I don't know, June," her eyes cast up at the ceiling and she smiles sadly. Her cheeks flush. Her dress has come up to reveal her knees, her thighs. To June, Serena looks for once absolutely luscious in her proclaimed heresy. "Would you have liked it? Would you like it now?" Serena's eyes blearily beg June for answers. 

June merely grits her teeth and smiles, shakes her head a little. 

Their savage waltz continues. 

"How much have you had to drink today?" June questions, not sure if she's amused or frightened. 

"Enough." Serena places her hand back in her own lap and clutches at the sickly, green of her dress. 

"Enough to make this feel more like a baptism and less like a funereal?" June scoffs. 

"If you could shut the fuck up for one moment, June," Serena Joy hisses. "We would get on so much better." 

Their cigarettes burn down to their fingers. And they have been gone from the party long enough that every little noise makes them jumpy in the cradle of their lounge chairs. Serena rises to leave first, with no more than a warning look at June. For a moment longer, June sits. She does not allow herself to be lulled by the sultry heat and motor of the pool, but feels a melting seduction when she sees the little mound of ash next to the chair where June was, and dips her index finger into its impossible softness. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was a little seed I had germinating in my mind for many months now and finally got around to finishing. Thanks so much for reading. I live for comments and respond always, so please feel free to say hi! xoxo


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